


sky is burning (but at least we're warm)

by leofjtz



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars
Genre: Casual Relationship, Disclaimer: I don't know what this is, Everybody Lives, F/M, Sick Cassian, small angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-21 02:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9527756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leofjtz/pseuds/leofjtz
Summary: “I remember having more fun the last time you ripped my shirt off.”(Or Cassian returns from his first off-planet mission since Scarif with a high fever and Jyn watches over him, and then gets overdramatic about her feelings.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, if you follow me on twitter, you'll know that this fic has become the bane of my existence. The initial idea was to just have Jyn caring for Cassian but the idea kinda ran away from me and evolved into this. 
> 
> The end of this fic becomes super dramatic and extra but what can I say, at least I can't get more dramatic than killing every hero in the final half hour of a movie

It was late when Jyn finished training, later than usual. She’d been spending more time sparring with Chirrut now that Cassian was gone. They hadn’t been in contact since he left for his first off planet mission since Scarif, seven weeks ago.

Cassian had been dying to get back to work for weeks, but it was clear that once he had finished physical therapy and he had been cleared for active duty, he was unsure.

It had been Jyn who eventually gave him the final push to leave, but seven weeks was a long time and in the back of her mind she was beginning to regret it. 

She and Cassian hadn’t put a label on their relationship. They were each other’s friend first and foremost, but they slept together - sex mostly, but sometimes just sleeping. For both of them, coping was easier when you woke up next to someone who understood.

The door to her bunk was open when she got back. Either she had just forgotten to lock it when she left earlier, or one of the kids on the base had broken in and set her alarm to 2AM (again - it never got old apparently).

Before the light in the room even turned on properly, she tripped over a pair of boots which were not her own. Looking up, she saw no evidence of pranking kids, just Cassian Andor lying fully clothed in her bed under two blankets.

Confusion outweighed joy.

“What are you doing here?” Jyn asked, dropping her backpack to the floor and sitting on the end of the bed. “I thought you didn’t get back for another week, I’ve been reading the mission reports.”

Cassian didn’t say anything, he shuffled slightly to face her but kept his eyes shut. He was unusually white and he was sweating, with hair plastered to his face.

“Are you sick?” She asked, touching his forehead with the back of her hand. He was way too hot, especially for someone on Hoth. “Can you try talking to me? I haven’t seen you in seven weeks, I’d appreciate even just a grunt of recognition.”

“Bohdi and I have the Findris flu.” Cassian wheezed. “He was annoying me so I had to leave.”

Cassian and Bohdi were sharing a bunk on Hoth, just a temporary thing which was ponly really an issue when Jyn and Cassian wanted to spend time together, alone. But with Kaytu around, that was always an issue.

“You spent barely any time on Findris.” Jyn frowned, pulling the blanket down.

“I think we were there long enough.” Cassian said, his voice cracked at the end and he began a minute long coughing fit, in which Jyn had to help him sit up so he could breath easier. “Bohdi vomiting all over the control panel was a sign we should go home early.”

“Don’t lie back down, I’m taking you to a medical droid.” Jyn told Cassian, holding him up. 

“No.” Cassian said, firmly. He had opened his eyes at the mention of a medical droid and grabbed her wrist. “No.”

“I can’t take care of you, Cassian. You need help, and medicine, and a sterile environment - these sheets haven’t been changed for two weeks and I have day-before-yesterday’s underwear on the floor, over there.” Jyn sighed, checking Cassian’s temperature again. “Please, just let a droid examine you.”

“I spent a month surrounded by nothing by medical droids after Scarif, please don’t take me to the medcenter.” He was pleading with her, tugging at her jacket. Jyn rarely saw him so desperate. “Just let me stay here until my fever breaks. Please.”

She gave in.

Jyn helped him take off his clothes first. He was still wearing his jacket, which she hung on the back of her chair, but she ended up tearing off his shirt because he couldn’t lift his arms very well.

“I remember having more fun the last time you ripped my shirt off.” Cassian mumbled as Jyn threw the discarded shirt away. She ignored him, but caught him smirking and sighed.

Once stripped down, she helped him over to her chair so she could change the sheets on her bed. He had groaned when standing up and winced with each step, it reminded her of his early physical therapy and she understood why he didn’t want to go back to the medcenter. 

It was difficult to see Cassian so sick again. Regardless of the flu, he looked different - he’d lost weight. With each ragged breath, Jyn could see an outline of his ribs. 

He had a new wound above his collarbone, Jyn recognised Bohdi’s poor quality stitches. She made a mental note to check on Bohdi later once Cassian was sleeping.

“Alright, cold shower.” Jyn said softly once she had finished changing the sheets. Cassian let her help him up and walk over to the fresher. Jyn watched as he stood against the wall, arms folded and shivering as the cold water ran down his body. 

Findris flu wasn’t contagious. Jyn pulled her training shirt over her head and unbuttoned her pants, stepping into the fresher once all of her clothes were in a messy heap on the floor. Cassian reached for her with eyes closed and Jyn shuffled forwards under the below freezing water. 

Cassian’s skin was hot on hers, but she leaned into him, wrapping both arms around his shoulders and resting her head on his chest. Neither said anything, Jyn just listened to the rapid rhythmic beat of Cassian’s heart and the running water.

After the shower, Jyn fished out Cassian’s spare pair of pants he kept at the bottom of her drawer and checked his temperature again (no change) before helping him get dressed and get into bed. Cassian’s eyes closed moments after hit head hit the pillow, to sit him up again so that he could drink, Jyn had to climb into the bed and sit behind him. Cassian rested his head in the crook of her neck while she held the canteen of water to his mouth.

“This is humiliating.” He mumbled sleepily once finished. Jyn kissed his temple gently before slowly slipping out from behind him. 

It was an oddly domestic situation for them both to be in. They would both train together daily, and eat at the same table during meal times; occasionally they would sleep in the same bed and offer soft words when the other woke up after a bad dream, but Jyn made sure to leave before Cassian woke up in the morning. She wanted to keep things casual. 

Once a cold cloth was pressed to Cassian’s forehead, Jyn headed for the door.

“Don’t go.” She heard him behind her.

“I’m just checking on Bohdi.” Jyn said, hovering by the door. “He also needs his clothes ripped off and to be thrown into a cold shower.”

Cassian mumbled “don’t go” again, half asleep. Reluctantly, Jyn turned away from the door and pulled the chair up to the bed. Once sitting down, Cassian’s hand twitched on the sheets as if searching for hers. She put her hand in his and their fingers intertwined.

“Hey.” Jyn whispered

“Mm.” 

“Welcome home.”

-

Once Cassian had fallen asleep, Jyn slipped out to visit Bohdi. The door to his shared bunk was locked, and Jyn guessed he would be in too much pain to get up so quickly began hacking into the keypad (it was simple).

He must have heard her, because after a moment the door slipped open and Bohdi greeted her with a grin - he didn’t look ill at all.

“I thought you were sick? Cassian…” Jyn frowned.

“I was, better now.” Bohdi replied, inviting her inside. “Cassian is worse than I was - I’m sorry for handing him off to you, it was his idea to move out until he gets better. I think he finds my care a little intense, more like smothering.”

“Nonsense.” Jyn sighed, sitting down on the end of Cassian’s bed.

“I did try to take him to the medcenter when we got back but-” Bohdi insisted.

“I know, don’t worry.” She assured him. “How was your first ‘real’ off planet mission for the rebel alliance? Everything you dreamed of?”

Bohdi laughed, sitting down on the bed opposite, “All that and more.”

Jyn knew he was being sarcastic, she’d read the mission reports and knew it had been far from fun for both of them.

“It was alright.” Bohdi sighed. “Cassian made good company, he’s a good friend. He protected me.”

He quickly looked up and added, “He talked about you a lot.”

Jyn smiled, looking away and nodding. She knew how Cassian felt about her, but anybody who had ever loved her half as much as he did had left, and deep down she was certain he would too, so she didn’t linger on feelings often.

“So there were no major casualties, that’s something.” Jyn changed the subject. “You did good. Really good.”

Bohdi exhaled quietly, he looked tired, she should go back to Cassian. 

“There were things I had to do.” Bohdi said, glancing at his feet and then back to Jyn. “I’d done them before, but I was on the wrong side. I don’t know… I figured it would be different this time.”

“It’s a war, Bohdi. We’re all doing things we wish we didn’t have to do.” Jyn told him. “It’s… it is different now, you’re on the right side.”

Bohdi didn’t say anything.

“You and me were a little lost.” She said quietly. “But we’re here, now. We’re doing the right thing.”

He smiled, not a big one, but still a smile.

“I should get back to Cassian.” Jyn stood up and Bohdi walked over to the door with her. Bohdi was the only person who knew she and Cassian were ‘involved’. Chirrut probably had some inkling because he always did, but besides those two, it was a secret. “He promises he’ll shove off as soon as we break his fever.”

“He talks in his sleep.” Bohdi murmured. 

Jyn nodded, I know. 

“Cassian is a good man.” He told her. “Make sure he realises it.”

\--

He was muttering in his sleep when Jyn returned, nothing worrying, just a few words in Festian. She picked up on a couple of them. 

Making a bed on the floor was easy, because she had made do with far worse before. The cold was the only problem. Jyn had never lived somewhere as cold as Hoth before, jackets were worn inside bunks and you could almost see your breath at any given time. 

Hoth was so cold that Jyn was considering just not sleeping in case Cassian’s fever broke rapidly in the subzero temperature, and she slept through him freezing to death.

Before lying down beneath every blanket she had in the linen drawer, Jyn checked Cassian’s temperature again and changed the cloth on his forehead. He was still murmuring the odd word quietly when she closed her eyes.

Moments (perhaps even seconds) after Jyn had finally found a comfortable position in which to lie on the floor, and was contemplating the possibility of maybe being able to sleep there, she was startled by a rhythmic clanking on the door.

Great.

“Kaytu, I’m sleeping.” She shouted out from under a blanket. “Come back when the sun’s up.”

He clanked on the door again and Jyn groaned loudly as she shoved the blankets off and stood up. 

Opening the door the door to Kaytu when Cassian was lying naked in her bed behind her, was a skill Jyn had quickly acquired. 

The trick was to open the door slightly - just so that the droid could hear her telling them to fuck off, and to make the “fuck off” itself short and snappy.

“Jyn.” How a droid’s voice managed to harbour so much disappointment never ceased to amaze her. 

“Kaytu.” Jyn replied. “A pleasure.”

“As I’m sure you are aware, Cassian and Bohdi returned to the base a few hours ago.” Kaytu explained. “I am unable to locate Cassian.”

“Haven’t seen him, goodbye Kaytu.” Jyn pressed the keypad to shut the door but it closed on Kaytu’s arm.

“If my calculations are correct, when on the Echo base Cassian is with you 67% of the time.” Kaytu continued, paying no attention to the door jamming his arm. “Logically, this is the first place I would go to look for him.”

“He isn’t here.” Jyn said.

“I find that answer-” Kaytu began.

“Vague and unconvincing, I know.” She interrupted. “Goodnight, Kaytu.”

Reluctantly, the droid removed his arm and the door shut. Jyn took a long deep sigh before returning to her spot beside the bed.

“Who was it?” She heard Cassian ask into the pillow on her bed. He turned over, groaning a little.

“You know who.” Jyn told him. “I went to see Bohdi, I thought he’d be in a similar condition. He said you protected him while you were away, he thinks very highly of you.”

Cassian didn’t say anything, just slowly removed the wet cloth Jyn had left on his forehead. Jyn went over and sat on the edge of the bed, taking the cold cloth out of Cassian’s hand and putting it back, his attempts to bat her away failed.

She checked his temperature again, but her hand lingered on the side of his face. Cassian tilted his head and kissed her palm gently.

“You know if you need to talk…” Jyn began, saying it quietly because neither of them tended to do much talking of that nature. She knew that's what friends were supposed to do, to talk and support each other, it was just new to her. And difficult.

Cassian gave a small nod. Jyn got up to lie back down under the blankets but with the little strength he had, Cassian held onto her.

“Sleep next to me.” He whispered, groaning quietly as he shuffled to make room next to him. “I don’t like sleeping alone.”

She could have argued, and told him his body would be too hot to lie next to and that she didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, but instead she gathered up the blankets on the floor and lay down beside him. Bed’s in the Echo Base were smaller than those on Yavin 4, so when they both shared one they tended to huddle together. With Cassian being sick, it wasn’t really an option.

Jyn fell asleep to the rhythm of Cassian’s heavy breathing next to her and felt whole for the first time since he had left. 

\--

When Jyn was four she had a nasty case of Findris flu, her mother had spent a week helping her drink and giving her medicine and reading to her - she knew it was supposed to get worse before it got any better, that Cassian’s fever would break soon enough and he would be fine. 

But she began to doubt it when she awoke two hours later, Cassian lay beside her in the bed, shivering all over and breathing rapidly.

“Cassian, I need to get you to the medcenter.” Jyn said quickly, her voice was shaky and her hands trembled above his chest, he was so fragile - she was scared to touch him. “I should have taken you when you got back, you need to see a medical droid.”

He didn’t respond to her, from what Jyn knew about Findris flu, this is when you were supposed to get help. 

“Cassian…” She was out of her depth, she should have taken him to the medcenter the moment she realised something wasn’t right with him.

Cassian’s eyes closed slowly and he began murmuring in Festian through labored breaths. 

“Please don’t leave me in the medcenter.” Cassian said, his voice broke at the end and he winced in pain. A tear rolled down his face, she couldn't stand seeing him in this much pain any longer.

Jyn didn’t reply, she stepped into her boots and pulled on Cassian’s coat while making her way towards the door. She didn’t know where she was going, just that she needed to get Cassian help, regardless of how angry he would be with her for doing so.

She ran into Baze and Bohdi, and somehow she managed to get the right words out.

\--

If a droid could give you a disapproving look, Kaytu was giving it to Jyn in her bunk moments after she had begged Baze to go to the medcenter for help. She stood by the door next to Bohdi, avoiding Kaytu who stood by the bed and towered over Cassian.

“It’s not your fault.” Bohdi said softly, Jyn kept her gaze fixed on Cassian who was still shivering. He groaned in pain every time a medic touched him. “We both tried, but he hates medcenters, he would never ask for help. You did the right thing.”

“But I should have done it sooner.” Jyn murmured. “If anything happens to him, it will be my fault - again.”

Before Bohdi could reply, a sour-faced doctor turned around and informed them she was taking Cassian to the medcenter. 

“This man has pneumonia, he’s very ill.” She announced. “You should have taken him to the medcenter last night.”

Jyn locked her jaw and her hand formed a fist at her side. She and Bohdi watched helplessly as a medical droid removed Cassian from the bed and he was taken to the medcenter. Kaytu shot Jyn a look as he left the bunk.

\--

Jyn played hooky from training that morning. Bohdi sat opposite her in the cafeteria for two hours before his meeting, he talked and talked and talked, but Jyn didn’t listen. She just stirred her porridge and stared down at her bowl.

At the table in front, the princess and Captain Solo were fighting. Luke Skywalker looked aimlessly at Jyn and she gave him a small sympathetic smile as the argument between his two friends reached a mighty crescendo. 

The princess stood up and threw her drink in the Captain’s face, she then swiftly walked away through the rows and rows of tables while the Captain stood up and yelled something particularly bold after her. Luke looked on, and sighed at Jyn.

Bohdi looked over his shoulder at the Captain, who ranted to Luke for a moment, before leaving in the opposite direction.

“I… I better get going.” Bohdi said reluctantly when he turned back round. “Will you be okay?”

“I’m fine.” Jyn nodded, and Bohdi left for his meeting.

Once Bohdi had gone, Luke Skywalker stood up and began walking in the direction of Jyn’s table. She was watching him approach her when her vision was blocked by Kaytu, who had appeared out of nowhere.

“Jyn Erso.” Kaytu said, looking down at her. Jyn stood up, leaving her untouched bowl of porridge on the table and obediently following Kaytu out of the cafeteria. 

Kaytu brought Jyn to the medcenter, where they stood behind a window into Cassian’s room and watched him sleeping. There was a mask covering most of his face to help him breathe, and a medical droid had put a needle in the back of his hand to give him fluids, there was another in his forearm giving him drugs

Jyn watched his chest go up and down slowly and bit down on her lip.

“Cassian’s chances of survival are at 90%. He’s generally a healthy human being.” Kaytu informed her. She didn’t look at them, if droids were capable of feeling emotion, Kaytu was angry. “You should not have lied to me last night, Jyn Erso.”

“Cassian didn’t want to see a doctor.” Jyn said firmly, crossing her arms. “He doesn’t like medcenters and medical droids give him anxiety.”

“Cassian needed medical help and if you cared for him at all you should have sought it for him.” Kaytu said.

Jyn didn’t say anything, she didn’t want to argue with Kaytu because she knew they were right. They both stood in uncomfortable silence and watched over Cassian, like they had done after Scarif.

“I knew that you and Cassian were in a sexual relationship. I am not unobservant.” Kaytu announced, Jyn cringed and wished the droid wasn’t so blunt. “I don’t understand the concept, but Cassian is in love with you.”

“I know.” Jyn mumbled, she saw herself scowling in the reflection.

“You are not in love with Cassian.” Kaytu said.

“It’s more complicated than that.” She told him harshly. “You’re a droid, you don’t understand.”

Jyn was flushed with the all too familiar feeling of abandonment that she had experienced when her father had left with the man in the white cape, and when Saw had left her alone at sixteen with a loaded blaster.

_Cassian will leave too. Nothing you can do or say will change that._

There was no way in hell, Jyn was going to stand there telling Kaytu all of her insecurities about falling in love. She kept her mouth shut and her eyes fixed on Cassian.

“Cassian is a good friend of yours, and sexual intercourse doesn’t appear to be a problem-” Kaytu continued.

“Stop! Stop, I’m not talking about this with you.” Jyn interrupted, turning round to face the droid. She looked up at him in red hot anger. “My feelings towards Cassian are my business, not yours.”

“You’re lucky to be loved by a man as good as Cassian.” Kaytu told her before turning away and walking out. 

Jyn watched him leave and then turned back to Cassian, hot tears had formed in her eyes and she wiped them away with her dirty sleeve.

\--

That night, she sneaked into Cassian’s room when the medical droid was out of sight. The mask on his face had been removed and a nasal cannula took it’s place - his health must have improved. He didn’t look as feverish, Jyn hoped it had broken.

“I heard you earlier.” Cassian murmured, he was awake but his voice was hoarse. Jyn lingered by the bed, she couldn’t touch him. “Outside with Kay.”

Cassian’s eyes opened and he looked around for a moment, he found her and then slowly closed his eyes again.

“I can’t make you love me, Jyn.” He said. He looked so tired. “It’s alright.”

Jyn never knew how much of Cassian she could let in, she didn’t do the sort of stuff their relationship was verging on - she didn’t do feelings. 

“I do love you, Cassian.” It just came out. His eyes shot open and Jyn looked away. “I just don’t know how to do any of this.” 

“I can’t get attached to people, I’m already too close to everybody here - Bohdi and… you.” Jyn continued after a much needed pause. “One day everything will change and I’ll be lost again. I don’t want to lose you - I don’t… want you to leave me.”

“When I said welcome home on Yavin, I meant it.” She heard Cassian say. Jyn wondered if he knew what he was saying, he had been given so many drugs. “You have a home in the alliance, you have a home with me. It’s permanent. I’m never going to leave you, Jyn.”

Jyn sighed, unsure if she believed him, and allowed her eyes drift back to his. She opened her mouth to say something, anything - but a medic walked in and told her that she was not supposed to be there. She considered arguing with them, but Cassian began coughing heavily and Jyn slipped out past the medic.

She promised herself that she would go back later.

\--

Out of everybody on Hoth that Jyn expected to get through to her, Han Solo was at the bottom of the list. 

It had been a week since she had walked out on Cassian in the medcenter, Bohdi had visited him but apparently they were stricter on visiting hours since Jyn had sneaked into the room. Bohdi promised Cassian had improved. 

Jyn had spent the day with Captain Solo, investigating another possible meteor strike. It had been cold and Solo had argued with the Princess on the radio for the majority of the mission. Out of habit, she wore Cassian’s coat - habit, and hers had a faulty zip.

“Hey, you wanna get a drink?” Solo asked her as they walked out of the tuantuan pens.

Jyn hesitated, pulling the hood of Cassian’s coat down and squinting up at him under the glaring lights of the hangar. 

She should go back to her bunk and rest because she had training in the morning, or she should push herself out of her comfort zone and finally visit Cassian again in the medcenter. The one thing she should not do is go for a drink with Han Solo.

“What the hell.” She shrugged, she needed a drink.

Captain Solo was staying in one of the larger bunks, with about thirty other men. He gestured to the cot opposite his own, and rifled through his pack for a bottle of liquor. After pouring them both a glass, he sat down and they clinked glasses.

The liquor was harder and heavier than what Jyn was used to drinking. 

“Heard about you and Andor.” Solo cocked an eyebrow as he leaned back. “You were quite the talk of the base.”

Jyn narrowed her eyes and reached for the bottle, she poured herself another glass of the stuff.

“Well it wasn’t something I wanted everyone to know about.” She said, looking away and taking a swig from the glass. The liquor burned in her throat and had an awful aftertaste. “If I had known that Cassian and I were going to be the main talking point of tonight, I wouldn’t have agreed to coming back here.”

“Alright, alright.” Captain Solo sighed. 

“Besides, you can’t talk.” Jyn lifted her chin, swirling the remaining drop of liquor around in her glass. “We’ve all heard about you and Una Blavin fooling around in your junker. That’s why you’re fighting with the Princess, I heard you arguing in the hangar this morning - she says you’re a distraction.”

“Distracting her more like, she wants me.” Solo grunted, Jyn rolled her eyes. “I’m all bad, baby. I’m just what by-the-book chicks like the Princess want.”

“Yeah, well...” Jyn looked away again.

“Hey, don’t start equating my situation to yours.” The Captain warned, sitting forward and furrowing his eyebrows. “We’re not the same.”

Jyn gritted her teeth. She begged to differ, they were both rogues, the black sheep of the alliance. More so than Jyn and Bohdi - Bohdi at least came from a military background. From what she knew about Han Solo, they were indistinguishable. 

“No, kid.” Solo leaned back again and sighed. “You have people who want you here, you have a reason to fight in this war - I’m just bored.”

“People don’t want me here - I told Cassian I loved him.” She sighed, burying her face in her hands. She wasn’t sure why she was telling Han Solo, she just needed to get it out. “I walked out on him, he’s going to hate me.”

“Well it’s not too late to take it back.” Solo suggested, she heard him pour more liquor into her glass. “Tell him you were on xyathone, that’s what I do.”

Jyn groaned, it became apparent that she and Han Solo weren’t as similar as she thought. 

“Okay, okay.” He sighed. “Did you mean it? I feel like a fourteen year old girl - you’re not telling anyone we talked about this.”

Jyn nodded, and sipped at the foul tasting liquor. 

“Then what’s the problem?” Solo asked, frowning. “You love him, he loves you… most people would kill for that - not me, other people.”

“He’ll leave.” Jyn said, quietly. She felt very small. Solo rolled his eyes and laughed.

“Isn’t that what it’s all about?” He asked. “Trust? I thought your whole squadron was high on that ‘not leaving a man behind’ shit. Besides, he’s not gonna screw you around. The guy’s no nonsense.”

She didn’t say anything for a while. 

“It’s not that complicated.” Solo sighed. “If this is what you want, where’s the problem.”

Jyn wanted to say she was too reckless to have a constant presence in her life, that Cassian thought he knew what he wanted but he had been hardened to the point where he would never open up, that she could never open up properly herself - her emotions spilled out in anger, gritted teeth and clenched fists.

But she didn’t.

“I need to go.” Jyn stood up abruptly and handed Solo her glass. “Thanks for the drinks.”

“Just remember, if anyone asks, we didn’t have this conversation.” Solo shouted after her as she walked out of the bunk and headed for the medcenter. “I have a reputation to uphold.”

\--

Jyn was greeted by the same sour-faced doctor who had taken Cassian from her bunk a week earlier. She told her that Cassian had been released an hour ago, and gave her a long lingering glare as Jyn left.

Cassian wasn’t in his bunk, Bohdi was half asleep when he came to the door, so Jyn didn’t reply when he asked what was going on. She thought perhaps she would find him training - it was the most Cassian-like thing to do, to throw yourself back into getting stronger after you’ve fallen down - but he wasn’t there either.

She found him in the shooting range, standing with his back to her and holding his blaster rifle firmly against his shoulder. When she entered, Cassian looked over his shoulder briefly, and then back to the range.

He looked stronger, healthier. 

Jyn watched him squeeze the trigger, firing a red glowing plasma bolt. He adjusted his stance and his blaster on his shoulder.

“Cassian…” In her head, Jyn slowly tried to piece together everything she wanted to say. “I-”

“It’s fine.” He told her sternly, shooting his blaster again and hitting the stormtrooper hologram square in the middle of it’s helmet. “I can forget about what you said.”

“Don’t forget about it.” Jyn stood three feet from Cassian who dropped him rifle from his shoulder and looked down at his feet. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” Cassian replied, and stubbornly raised his blaster again. She took a step towards him and put her hand on his shoulder, it was the first time since Cassian had come home that Jyn felt like she could touch him without the fear of hurting him. He didn’t resist.

“Talk to me.” She begged him.

“You didn’t talk to me.” Cassian sighed, then moved away so that her hand would fall from his shoulder.

“I couldn’t. I’m sorry.” Jyn stumbled over her words, she had no real excuse. “But I can now.”

Cassian let out a quiet groan and finally turned around, taking a long look down at her before saying anything.

“You can’t pick and choose when you want to be a part of something, Jyn.” He said.

“We don’t all have the luxury of deciding when and where we want to care about something.” She could hear words Cassian had spat out on their escape from Eadu. Jyn had changed since then.

“I know.” Hesitantly, Jyn stepped forwards and allowed her fingers to reach for his hands. “I’m sorry I took you to the medcenter, you were so sick.”

“I’m fine.” Cassian repeated, less harsh this time, like a promise. “I think I’m still high on tripophagea, but they cleared me earlier. I’m fine.”

“If I kiss you will I catch something?” Jyn asked, she watched Cassian shake his head and quickly pulled him down to meet her lips. After a short moment, Cassian’s hands found her waist and he pulled her close to him. She could feel him smiling.

“And you’re with me?” Jyn asked once they had pulled away. 

_This is home? You won’t leave? ___

“All the way.”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think I made it obvious enough that the recovery period for pneumonia in space is shorter than on our planet. Because it's on space and they have space medicine. 
> 
> Also, just some constructive feedback for myself, I feel that it begins to falter when Jyn goes to visit Cassian in the medcenter. I can't exactly place a finger on what I did wrong but there's something not right there after that. Jyn's out of character maybe? I don't think she would be that open about how she was feeling, especially not to Han Solo - but it is what it is.


End file.
